Author Archives: freespiritseedcompany

The Subtle Mistake in my Quiet Times

For a long time I have felt pressure to have my devotional times with God because of what would happen if I didn’t.

I’m not minimizing the importance of self discipline. The Bible has plenty to say about that. I’m only talking about fear. And I don’t mean the biblical fear of God, just the unhealthy kind that does not honor him like he deserves.

You are familiar with the little voices. “You’d better pray or you’ll quench the Spirit / God will be angry at you / you will lose your faith / blah blah blah.”

Those come from Satan, who is an idiot. He cherry picks his facts, inserts convenient lies, and Wham! I swallow his accusations hook, line, and sinker. But of course, Father told us he is the Accuser of the brethren (Rev 12:10). “You are weak. You are a failure. People are going to hell because you didn’t XYZ. You are such a wretched sinner, just look what you did!”

Accusations need not be true to be effective.

I say he is an idiot because all his advice is terrible. In context with Who God Is, everything the devil says is completely preposterous and empty headed.

I think the subtle mistake in my quiet times was not walking according to my true identity. What I mean is this.

Father says he loves me as much as he loves God the Son. In John 17:23, Jesus said to his Father, “you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.” So if I’m afraid God will be angry with me for not reading enough of my Bible today, the honest truth is I do not believe – not deep down in my heart – that God loves me as much as he does his other Son.

So I would submit that the answer to failing at my hardest efforts is not trying harder, nor is it to quit trying. It’s to understand my identity and walk in it. I would also suggest that scripture memory, evangelism, and all the other disciplines of the faith are a means to an end. The Pharisees did those things well. We do them, not for show, but because of who we are and who he has made us. That is, because of our identity.

And our identity is wrapped up entirely in who God is, if you think about it. Sons of who? Sons of God. Which means in order to really understand who we are, we first need to understand our Father’s Identity.


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But that is a discussion for another day.

Understand how massively important you are in the course of human history

This may take two or three minutes to read, but the punchline is worth it. That would be verse 30. Make sure to read v31 to get the full context.

Ezekiel 22:1 The word of the Lord came to me:

2 “Son of man, will you judge her? Will you judge this city of bloodshed? Then confront her with all her detestable practices 3 and say: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: You city that brings on herself doom by shedding blood in her midst and defiles herself by making idols, 4 you have become guilty because of the blood you have shed and have become defiled by the idols you have made. You have brought your days to a close, and the end of your years has come. Therefore I will make you an object of scorn to the nations and a laughingstock to all the countries. 5 Those who are near and those who are far away will mock you, you infamous city, full of turmoil.

6 “‘See how each of the princes of Israel who are in you uses his power to shed blood. 7 In you they have treated father and mother with contempt; in you they have oppressed the foreigner and mistreated the fatherless and the widow. 8 You have despised my holy things and desecrated my Sabbaths. 9 In you are slanderers who are bent on shedding blood; in you are those who eat at the mountain shrines and commit lewd acts. 10 In you are those who dishonor their father’s bed; in you are those who violate women during their period,when they are ceremonially unclean. 11 In you one man commits a detestable offense with his neighbor’s wife, another shamefully defiles his daughter-in-law, and another violates his sister, his own father’s daughter. 12 In you are people who accept bribes to shed blood; you take interest and make a profit from the poor. You extort unjust gain from your neighbors. And you have forgotten me, declares the Sovereign Lord.

13 “‘I will surely strike my hands together at the unjust gain you have made and at the blood you have shed in your midst. 14 Will your courage endure or your hands be strong in the day I deal with you? I the Lord have spoken, and I will do it.15 I will disperse you among the nations and scatteryou through the countries; and I will put an end toyour uncleanness. 16 When you have been defiled in the eyes of the nations, you will know that I am the Lord.’”

17 Then the word of the Lord came to me: 18 “Son of man, the people of Israel have become dross to me; all of them are the copper, tin, iron and lead left inside a furnace. They are but the dross of silver.19 Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: ‘Because you have all become dross, I will gather you into Jerusalem. 20 As silver, copper, iron, lead and tin are gathered into a furnace to be melted with a fiery blast, so will I gather you in my anger and my wrath and put you inside the city and melt you. 21 I will gather you and I will blow on you with my fiery wrath, and you will be melted inside her.22 As silver is melted in a furnace, so you will be melted inside her, and you will know that I the Lordhave poured out my wrath on you.’”

23 Again the word of the Lord came to me: 24 “Son of man, say to the land, ‘You are a land that has not been cleansed or rained on in the day of wrath.’25 There is a conspiracy of her princes within her like a roaring lion tearing its prey; they devour people, take treasures and precious things and make many widows within her. 26 Her priests do violence to my law and profane my holy things; they do not distinguish between the holy and the common; they teach that there is no difference between the unclean and the clean; and they shut their eyes to the keeping of my Sabbaths, so that I am profaned among them. 27 Her officials within her are like wolves tearing their prey; they shed blood and kill people to make unjust gain. 28 Her prophets whitewash these deeds for them by false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says’—when the Lord has not spoken. 29 The people of the land practice extortion and commit robbery; they oppress the poor and needy and mistreat the foreigner, denying them justice.

30 “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one. 31 So I will pour out my wrath on them and consume them with my fiery anger,bringing down on their own heads all they have done, declares the Sovereign Lord.”

WE ARE PEOPLE WHO STAND IN THE BREACH.

Something about Tenderness in the Sun

If your image of God is that he is cruel, psycho, or hateful, I want to share something a little bit science-y with you.

I painted this on my basement wall. It shows the size of the Sun and Earth, to scale. The Earth is the dot the arrow is pointing at. It is the size of a quarter (I traced around one). The Sun, as you can see, is taller than my door, stretches higher than the ceiling and lower than the floor.

Earth would actually be three football fields away. Try to imagine standing in your doorway (like the one above) with a friend holding out a quarter from that far away. How small would it seem?

Yet the gravity of the Sun is so vast it can hold onto that quarter-sized planet from such a distance.

In fact, it’s so big you could fit one million Earths inside the Sun and still have extra room for them to jiggle around.

In the Bible, Jesus is compared with the Sun (Malachi 4:2, Revelation 1:16).

The size of the Sun compared to Earth is something like the size of Jesus compared to you and me. That would also be the size of his tenderness.

Notice the words tender and comfort in these verses.

“Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem, and cry to her that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned.” Isaiah 40:1-2a

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4a

And finally, Luke 1:78 speaks of “the tender mercy of our God.” Not just mercy, but tender mercy.

If we imagine God as a tyrant, like an alcoholic father, we have missed something important. Sure, he has some rules like any good leader. But if, for the past ten or twenty years God has mainly seemed angry, maybe take the next couple decades pondering his tenderness. Then things may seem more in balance.

Conquering Fear

When we figure out why Jesus had no fear, we will start becoming like him in this respect.

So, why was he fearless?

It may be tempting to retort, “Because he was God,” which really means (at least when I say it), “That’s not a realistic goal for me.”

If we consider, however, less intimidating aspirations for the Christian, it would seem fearlessness falls among them.

Take the fruit of the Spirit, for example (Galatians 5:22-23), which includes love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith. Fear and peace cannot coexist. Nor fear with joy, nor faith.

So fear needs to go. It has to go.

What made Jesus fearless?

History is Kind of Like ‘Pulp Fiction‘

I think history – which includes the individual personal stories of you and me, plus all the chaos in current events, politics, business, etc. – is like one of those confusing movies with a lot of complex plots and subplots. They keep intertwining but you can’t see how they fit together and it leaves you really puzzled.

You have to go back and watch it a few times and discuss it with your friends. Eventually the pieces fall into place and you go, “Wow, that was brilliant filmmaking! It made no sense to me at first, but now I get it.”

Our Father, of course, is the archetype storyteller. His has billions of plots and subplots. Right now, a lot of them leave me hanging, wishing for a satisfying conclusion.

But when I think of it like one of those kinds of movies, it makes it easier to endure.

Strange Comfort

Last night I asked God to give me comfort in him instead of the other places where I often seek it. I just so happened to be in Ezekiel 18 in my Bible readings. It talks about God’s Old Testament laws and judgment — not normally comforting like, say, the Psalms.

Here’s a sample:

“If he fathers a son who is violent, a shedder of blood, who oppresses the poor and needy, commits robbery, does not restore the pledge, lifts up his eyes to the idols, commits abomination, lends at interest, and takes profit; shall he then live? He shall not live. He has done all these abominations; he shall surely die; his blood shall be upon himself.

This time it greatly comforted me.

Father has laws, boundaries, rules. And he is passionate about justice. That means when all is said and done, at the end of time, perfect justice will be done. That gives me a profound, unshakable sense of security. Beneath all the turmoil is absolute bedrock.

All the terrible things going on in the world – corporate greed oppressing the poor, perversions of every kind, manipulation by the media – all of it is finite. Father has set boundaries on them.

He has already penciled on his calendar, “This is the last day I am going to let people oppress each other. Tomorrow I will right every single wrong, and answer everybody’s prayers for justice with YES.”

Pretty Sure It’s Another Miracle

One of our children has had significant struggles with anxiety the past three years. It started with an illness, and has flared up in many different ways. They are under the care of a brilliant psychiatrist who has prescribed various meds, which have certainly helped.

After a recent unpleasant experience at the dentist, they’ve had panic attacks far worse than any before. They occur around bedtime and keep them (and their mama) up for an extra hour or two. Hyperventilating. Freaking out at trivial things. They have bad dreams about the dentist. If you have anxiety or are close to someone who does, you probably know we could go on recounting the stories for a very, very long time.

Then a couple nights ago, it lifted.

The panic attacks are basically gone, like they evaporated. This child usually meets me at the door happy now, instead of with the latest crisis.

Jealousy is being replaced with, “I’m so happy for them!”

This person has not enjoyed running around outside for several years. Now they ask if we can go for a walk as a family and they enjoy frisbee with their sibs.

And they are finally able to cry. Always they held the tears in, trying to be strong. Last night, for the first time, they cried when their sister was sad about our guinea pigs that died a couple years back.

That’s all brand new.

The Spirit about them is light whereas it used to be weighed down a lot, and they recognize this, too.

Two weeks ago they were terribly concerned about body image, afraid they would never get married and therefore never have children. Today they accept their body the way it is, and feel “content” with it.

We did not pray any specific prayers that night. They just woke up different.

Was this a real miracle? Sometimes people just change, you know. They’re tired of the hum drum and decide to step out in a new direction. People also morph into something beautiful when a kind word strikes home in just the right way. In other instances, an experience permanently changes our perspective. But I can’t find any of these in this story. I interviewed them, looking for such events.

Addendum: It’s been about a month now. We are still having some anxiety issues when life isn’t going like we want. But overall the panic attacks are resolved.

They don’t always meet me happy at the door, but it’s still noticeably different.

They still enjoy being outside and asked to ride their bike today.

They still cry, which again was totally new.

The body image thing went away and never came back.

Pretty sure it was a plain old miracle.

Regarding Your Bad News

Both enemies and successes rise and fall. Underneath all our experiences though, there is bedrock. There are unshakable promises.

“I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel SHALL stand, and I WILL accomplish ALL my purpose,”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭46:9b-10‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Father will accomplish everything he purposes. His counsel will stand, period.

Whether Roe Stands

Christian, no matter how things go with the Supreme Court, even more important is the attitude in our hearts. We will be accountable at the Judgment for that, not for anyone else’s decisions.

If they topple Roe, will we gloat? If Jesus was here physically, would he swagger? God is love, and love does not boast, 1 Cor 13:4. Our Master stands for truth, but the posture of his heart is always humility. Love is not arrogant (1 Cor 13:4), so even when says to the lost, “Depart from me. I never knew you,” it won’t be with an attitude of conceit.

If Roe stands, will we be hateful? Jesus suffered a far worse injustice than aborted children do, but he wasn’t spiteful. Remember Jesus’s reaction when the woman was caught in adultery, John 8:3-11? Staring injustice in the face, he called a spade and spade, but he was not judgmental.